I’m new to the blogging world, although I’ve created web sites more or less from scratch before. That was back a few years before anyone had ever heard of a blog and the web site software, while pretty easy was still a long way from today. I just don’t have time to keep up with the latest software and I wasn’t much of a designer anyway.
At first I wasn’t that wild about blogger.com and my spouse mentioned that she like wordpress. I decided to try it out since I couldn’t figure out how to make blogger allow me to post spreadsheets or other files on the blog. So I abandon my blog on blogger.com and kept it on wordpress for a couple weeks. While wordpress does seem to be a little more flexible, I didn’t like the interface very well and I wasn’t that wild about the themes either. So I’m back to blogger.com. I made the decision to come back when I discovered Google Apps and figured out I could publish my spreadsheets with Google Apps and then link to them via blogger.com. So, I pasted the posts that originally were on wordpress back here and have made the wordpress version inaccessible. Yes, I’m a recovering geek. My wife might say not so recovered
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Progress (Started 2/8/09 and finished on 2/11/09)
End of Week 2, 235.6 pounds, 6.4 pounds lost
I weighed yesterday morning; looking forward to what the scale would say. I’d been diligent in tracking what I ate, avoiding late night snacking and eating healthy, or at least low cal snacks when I did snack during the day. I felt pretty confident that I would have lost at least a couple pounds. When the scale said 235.6, I was pretty disappointed. I thought that I had weighed in one day during the week and was down to 235.0, though I didn’t write it down so can’t be sure. Consequently, I thought that week over week I had actually gained a few ounces. I couldn’t believe it. I weighed again to be sure. Same result exactly. As it turns out, I’d weighed 236.4 the previous week so I lost 7/8ths of a pound. Not what I was looking for after losing over 5 pounds the first week, but I knew that wasn’t sustainable. And I’ve still lost over 3 pounds a week for the first two weeks so that’s really good. But I am concerned that it slowed down so quickly. I wonder if I need to curb my calories even more. So, I put all the daily calorie counts in a spreadsheet so I can start tracking calories on a weekly and average daily basis to make sure I’m staying on track. Week 1 was 14075 total calories for an average of 2010 calories and 15092 in week 2 for an average 2156. So an extra 150 calories per day on average. Was that the difference between losing 5 pounds and 1? I don’t know.
Exercise has been going pretty well; I’ve done 6 of 7 days each week so I feel pretty good about that part. A few days ago, I changed from two three pound dumb bells to my free weights and am now using two 9 pound bars/weights. There are some exercises with that weight that are pretty easy at 10 reps and some that become difficult toward the end, so I’m probably going to need to bring up some of the other weights and start using the long bar and additional weight for those exercises that aren’t hard to do.
So, now it is three days later and what a difference a few days can make. I think it was the next day or something crazy that I weighed myself again and I was down to 230. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve since weighed myself about every day, though I’m not writing it down and it’s been any where from 232 to 234; but the good news is that I’m still losing weight.
Since tracking my daily caloric intake on the spreadsheet, I’ve been more diligent about trying to keep my intake under 2000/day. This week is at 1904 so far so I’m feeling pretty good about that. I know I was eating less the first two weeks than when I started, but I’m really trying hard to keep it under 2000 now. I had one day at over 2400 and another over 2100 and then somehow had a day at 1295, but as I do this more, I think I’ll get better at staying closer to the goal.
I’ve been pretty hit or miss on getting up to do my exercising first thing in the morning; most days in the last week have probably been in the evening either right before or right after putting the girls to bed. It’s not ideal, but I am having a hard time getting to bed at 10 which I need to if I’m going to feel rested at 6am the next day to exercise. I also notice I’m much more motivated when I’m awake in the evenings and tend to walk at a faster speed on the treadmill. The important thing is that I do it and I have still missed just two days in the 19 days since I started. I’m looking forward to this weekend’s weigh in and think it is time for another picture. I really want to be able to see the progression when I get down to my goal weight. One more cool thing this week, I found that I had to move to my last belt loop hole. In another month or so, I’m going to need to get a new belt, I hope.
I weighed yesterday morning; looking forward to what the scale would say. I’d been diligent in tracking what I ate, avoiding late night snacking and eating healthy, or at least low cal snacks when I did snack during the day. I felt pretty confident that I would have lost at least a couple pounds. When the scale said 235.6, I was pretty disappointed. I thought that I had weighed in one day during the week and was down to 235.0, though I didn’t write it down so can’t be sure. Consequently, I thought that week over week I had actually gained a few ounces. I couldn’t believe it. I weighed again to be sure. Same result exactly. As it turns out, I’d weighed 236.4 the previous week so I lost 7/8ths of a pound. Not what I was looking for after losing over 5 pounds the first week, but I knew that wasn’t sustainable. And I’ve still lost over 3 pounds a week for the first two weeks so that’s really good. But I am concerned that it slowed down so quickly. I wonder if I need to curb my calories even more. So, I put all the daily calorie counts in a spreadsheet so I can start tracking calories on a weekly and average daily basis to make sure I’m staying on track. Week 1 was 14075 total calories for an average of 2010 calories and 15092 in week 2 for an average 2156. So an extra 150 calories per day on average. Was that the difference between losing 5 pounds and 1? I don’t know.
Exercise has been going pretty well; I’ve done 6 of 7 days each week so I feel pretty good about that part. A few days ago, I changed from two three pound dumb bells to my free weights and am now using two 9 pound bars/weights. There are some exercises with that weight that are pretty easy at 10 reps and some that become difficult toward the end, so I’m probably going to need to bring up some of the other weights and start using the long bar and additional weight for those exercises that aren’t hard to do.
So, now it is three days later and what a difference a few days can make. I think it was the next day or something crazy that I weighed myself again and I was down to 230. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve since weighed myself about every day, though I’m not writing it down and it’s been any where from 232 to 234; but the good news is that I’m still losing weight.
Since tracking my daily caloric intake on the spreadsheet, I’ve been more diligent about trying to keep my intake under 2000/day. This week is at 1904 so far so I’m feeling pretty good about that. I know I was eating less the first two weeks than when I started, but I’m really trying hard to keep it under 2000 now. I had one day at over 2400 and another over 2100 and then somehow had a day at 1295, but as I do this more, I think I’ll get better at staying closer to the goal.
I’ve been pretty hit or miss on getting up to do my exercising first thing in the morning; most days in the last week have probably been in the evening either right before or right after putting the girls to bed. It’s not ideal, but I am having a hard time getting to bed at 10 which I need to if I’m going to feel rested at 6am the next day to exercise. I also notice I’m much more motivated when I’m awake in the evenings and tend to walk at a faster speed on the treadmill. The important thing is that I do it and I have still missed just two days in the 19 days since I started. I’m looking forward to this weekend’s weigh in and think it is time for another picture. I really want to be able to see the progression when I get down to my goal weight. One more cool thing this week, I found that I had to move to my last belt loop hole. In another month or so, I’m going to need to get a new belt, I hope.
Week 1 ends with a Bang Part 2 (also 2/1/09)
After yesterday’s ‘set back’ of not exercising and eating 4 of the chocolate chip cookies I made, today has been a good one so far. I set my alarm and again ignored it for quite a while, but when I did finally get up with the rest of the family, I went straight to the treadmill after weighing in at 236.4. I’m calling that my weekly weigh in, which means that I lost a total of 5.6 pounds my first week. A really great start that lifted my spirits for the morning routine.
I also find that the morning exercising are quite a bit easier if I’m fully awake; when I roll out of bed and head straight for the treadmill, I find the first 15 minutes I don’t go as fast and am not at all motivated. And that is even with the fact that I went to bed about 3am last night and got up about 8:30 for only 5.5 hours of sleep. Which means I need to get to sleep earlier if I want to get up at 6am or I need to somehow plan to do the exercises later in the day, which is a challenge. Once I ‘get home’ from work, it’s pretty much dinner, dishes, hopefully a little time with the kids and then the bed time routine. I get done with all that about 9pm with hopefully time for a little relaxation either in front of the tube, or the computer for leisure time.
I think it is about time to increase the weight I’m working with during my post treadmill strength exercises. I’ve just been using the two 3 pound dumb bells and that isn’t providing enough resistance. Bringing up the bigger free weights is going to prove challenging given the lack of space in the room in which the treadmill resides. The only exercise that really is a challenge is the leg lifts and crunches. They are both pretty tough. I’ll just need to figure a way to keep the large bar and weights upstairs or may need to do some of the work out down in the basement.
So, all in all a successful week, hopefully the first of many.
Oh, I added a page to show the weight when-ever I decide to weigh in. I was doing it daily but found that discouraging on those days where it was a little up instead of a little down. You can find the page on the ‘Weigh In’ link at the top of the page or by following this link: http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pNa0br-zusCKUEXmpjFoRFA
I also find that the morning exercising are quite a bit easier if I’m fully awake; when I roll out of bed and head straight for the treadmill, I find the first 15 minutes I don’t go as fast and am not at all motivated. And that is even with the fact that I went to bed about 3am last night and got up about 8:30 for only 5.5 hours of sleep. Which means I need to get to sleep earlier if I want to get up at 6am or I need to somehow plan to do the exercises later in the day, which is a challenge. Once I ‘get home’ from work, it’s pretty much dinner, dishes, hopefully a little time with the kids and then the bed time routine. I get done with all that about 9pm with hopefully time for a little relaxation either in front of the tube, or the computer for leisure time.
I think it is about time to increase the weight I’m working with during my post treadmill strength exercises. I’ve just been using the two 3 pound dumb bells and that isn’t providing enough resistance. Bringing up the bigger free weights is going to prove challenging given the lack of space in the room in which the treadmill resides. The only exercise that really is a challenge is the leg lifts and crunches. They are both pretty tough. I’ll just need to figure a way to keep the large bar and weights upstairs or may need to do some of the work out down in the basement.
So, all in all a successful week, hopefully the first of many.
Oh, I added a page to show the weight when-ever I decide to weigh in. I was doing it daily but found that discouraging on those days where it was a little up instead of a little down. You can find the page on the ‘Weigh In’ link at the top of the page or by following this link: http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pNa0br-zusCKUEXmpjFoRFA
Ending Week 1 with a bang Part 1 (2/1/09)
Ending Week 1 with a bang Part 1 (2/1/09)
Saturday mornings are swimming lesson days for Cam; they start at 9:30 and are about a 20 minute drive. I set my alarm for 7am so I would have time to get my workout done before we left. I snoozed until it was too late and then only made coffee and ate a fruit/nut granaola bar before leaving. So, not such a great start to the day from a healthly living standpoint. But we didn't have too much planned today so I figured I could do the workout when we get home about 10:30.
But then we had to go to the library to return some books and toys and for the Chinese New Year celebration they were holding. The Chinese New Year events consisteted of a banquet table set out with paper lantern stencils and the DVD Kung Fu Panda running on the TV. Not an Ox in site anywhere, nor any food. I guess we should be happy they realized it was the CNY at all.
When we got home, I was just tired and hungry, so I had a sandwich and some goldfish. Still no excersie, though Iwas thinking about it and still planned to get it done. And despite not having a very good breakfast, at least I was staying reasonable on calories. I needed to after we went out for dinner the previous night at our favorite mexican food restaurant and I had my usual chicken chipotle dinner. I ordered no sour cream, and drank water; and had only two tortillas, but I managed to put away nearly the whole dish which is a rather complete loss of the portion control I had been excerising all week.
Then we headed out for some appliance shopping and had a snack of a pretzel with awful nacho cheese sip and I had a few drinks of the coke that Mindy and Cam had. By then, I knew it was going to be a blown day and went ahead and had four small pieces of pizza and then made chocoloate chip cookies. These are the same ones Mindy had made earlier in the week, from the America's Test Kitchen cookbook. Definitely the best chocolate chip cookies we had ever made both times. I did pretty good when she made them, having had only 4 total and never more than 1 after dinner and none late at night while we were watching TV. But tonight, it was a disaster and I had 4 of these huge cookies and 1/2 a cup of 1% milk with one of them. That's about 850 calories right there. And of course, no excersise for the day to counter any of it.
I was supposed to weigh in this morning, but I guess it will be tomorrow morning and I'll be lucky to have lost anything after the last 24 hours of eating. I'm a little nervous about losing the control I felt I had through the week and obviously about not maintaining the regimine going forward. That fear is helped by the fact that I haven't entered the last two days of food and excersise into the spreadsheet, though I do have it in hard copy ready to go. Tomrrow is a new day and I will again set my alarm (though later as it's already 2:40am) and do my weigh in and have my oatmeal breakfast before taking my girls out to the weekly daddy/daughter breakfast. It was going too well this week before Friday night so I have to not let the last 24 hours get me down and pick back up where I left off Friday afternoon. It's the individual decisions I make, it's deciding not to have that extra 200 calories in that one more cookie after I know I have already had a high calorie day with no excersise. If I am to do this, I am going to do it one decision at a time, one day, one hour and one minute at a time. It is especially important when I am feeling like I'm losing, or I have already eating 3 cookies when I know I can only have 1; it's choosing not to have the 4th one to save that 200 additional calories.
Saturday mornings are swimming lesson days for Cam; they start at 9:30 and are about a 20 minute drive. I set my alarm for 7am so I would have time to get my workout done before we left. I snoozed until it was too late and then only made coffee and ate a fruit/nut granaola bar before leaving. So, not such a great start to the day from a healthly living standpoint. But we didn't have too much planned today so I figured I could do the workout when we get home about 10:30.
But then we had to go to the library to return some books and toys and for the Chinese New Year celebration they were holding. The Chinese New Year events consisteted of a banquet table set out with paper lantern stencils and the DVD Kung Fu Panda running on the TV. Not an Ox in site anywhere, nor any food. I guess we should be happy they realized it was the CNY at all.
When we got home, I was just tired and hungry, so I had a sandwich and some goldfish. Still no excersie, though Iwas thinking about it and still planned to get it done. And despite not having a very good breakfast, at least I was staying reasonable on calories. I needed to after we went out for dinner the previous night at our favorite mexican food restaurant and I had my usual chicken chipotle dinner. I ordered no sour cream, and drank water; and had only two tortillas, but I managed to put away nearly the whole dish which is a rather complete loss of the portion control I had been excerising all week.
Then we headed out for some appliance shopping and had a snack of a pretzel with awful nacho cheese sip and I had a few drinks of the coke that Mindy and Cam had. By then, I knew it was going to be a blown day and went ahead and had four small pieces of pizza and then made chocoloate chip cookies. These are the same ones Mindy had made earlier in the week, from the America's Test Kitchen cookbook. Definitely the best chocolate chip cookies we had ever made both times. I did pretty good when she made them, having had only 4 total and never more than 1 after dinner and none late at night while we were watching TV. But tonight, it was a disaster and I had 4 of these huge cookies and 1/2 a cup of 1% milk with one of them. That's about 850 calories right there. And of course, no excersise for the day to counter any of it.
I was supposed to weigh in this morning, but I guess it will be tomorrow morning and I'll be lucky to have lost anything after the last 24 hours of eating. I'm a little nervous about losing the control I felt I had through the week and obviously about not maintaining the regimine going forward. That fear is helped by the fact that I haven't entered the last two days of food and excersise into the spreadsheet, though I do have it in hard copy ready to go. Tomrrow is a new day and I will again set my alarm (though later as it's already 2:40am) and do my weigh in and have my oatmeal breakfast before taking my girls out to the weekly daddy/daughter breakfast. It was going too well this week before Friday night so I have to not let the last 24 hours get me down and pick back up where I left off Friday afternoon. It's the individual decisions I make, it's deciding not to have that extra 200 calories in that one more cookie after I know I have already had a high calorie day with no excersise. If I am to do this, I am going to do it one decision at a time, one day, one hour and one minute at a time. It is especially important when I am feeling like I'm losing, or I have already eating 3 cookies when I know I can only have 1; it's choosing not to have the 4th one to save that 200 additional calories.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Goals, goals, goals
The experts say that in order to be successful at making a change, it is important to set goals. A well known mnemonic device for remembering how to make effective goals is SMART. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. I’ve been using WebMD.com to gather some of the information I’m basing my weight loss/healthy life style plans on. Although these things are always subject to interpretation; it suggested my ideal weight is 180. When I started this process, I weighed 242 pounds. So, to get to 180 pounds, I need to lose 62 pounds. Another guideline they have is losing 2 pounds/week. So 62 pounds losing 2 pounds/week means 31 weeks. That would put my goal date at August 29th; which through the magic of fate is the week of my 43rd birthday. 2 pounds a week is probably a pretty aggressive goal and may not meet the attainable and realistic threshold to be a SMART goal, but I won’t know that until I’ve got some time with the program.
This morning’s workout was a little bit tough. I’m doing 30 minutes on the treadmill and then some strength exercises. I am starting the workout slowly so I don’t get too sore which might lead to stopping. I upped the speed on the treadmill today just a bit and for the last few minutes was pumping my arms. Still not too much of a struggle but got my heart going a bit more. But the strength part was a different story. The last couple of squats I was feeling the burn ] and the leg lifts and crunches both were tough. I’m only doing 1 set of 10 reps of everything, but doing them very slowly and deliberately to get the most out of each rep. I was a little sore when I was done and then felt drained afterward. I complained to Mindy that I thought exercise was supposed to make me feel like I have more energy, not less, but I know that will happen with time. For the arm and shoulder exercises, I’m using 3 pound dumbbells which sounds lame, but again, I’m not letting ego get in the way of doing what I think is best for my long term maintenance of the program.
This morning’s workout was a little bit tough. I’m doing 30 minutes on the treadmill and then some strength exercises. I am starting the workout slowly so I don’t get too sore which might lead to stopping. I upped the speed on the treadmill today just a bit and for the last few minutes was pumping my arms. Still not too much of a struggle but got my heart going a bit more. But the strength part was a different story. The last couple of squats I was feeling the burn ] and the leg lifts and crunches both were tough. I’m only doing 1 set of 10 reps of everything, but doing them very slowly and deliberately to get the most out of each rep. I was a little sore when I was done and then felt drained afterward. I complained to Mindy that I thought exercise was supposed to make me feel like I have more energy, not less, but I know that will happen with time. For the arm and shoulder exercises, I’m using 3 pound dumbbells which sounds lame, but again, I’m not letting ego get in the way of doing what I think is best for my long term maintenance of the program.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
What’s in a name?
It just came to me, I hadn’t really given it much thought and when I decided to keep a blog of my experience, it just popped in to my mind and I liked it. I have wanted to try and lose weight for YEARS and I was never able to do it. I started exercising a few times and after I got ‘the diagnoses’, I made an effort to change my diet. We stopped buying Coke and we’d pretty much already given up McDonalds already except for the occasional lapse (the move Fast Food Nation was a turning point for me). But none of it ever lasted and the end result was that I have gained weight, not lost it.
Anyway, as I thought about all that time I spent knowing that I SHOULD lose weight but didn’t; and as my concerns about dying early as a result of this decision started to really bug me, it seemed obvious that in a sense I WAS dying to be fat. My choice was to continue to be unhealthy and that it was very likely a decision that would lead to my early death.
Anyway, as I thought about all that time I spent knowing that I SHOULD lose weight but didn’t; and as my concerns about dying early as a result of this decision started to really bug me, it seemed obvious that in a sense I WAS dying to be fat. My choice was to continue to be unhealthy and that it was very likely a decision that would lead to my early death.
Yea, I’m not too complicated.
In the beginning
I’ve decided, again, to lose weight and to generally live a more healthy life style. I’ve also decided to blog about it for a couple reasons. The weight loss experts say that if you tell someone about your goal to lose weight, you increase the odds that you will be successful. I also enjoy writing and have been looking for an excuse to start a blog and these seem as good of reasons as any. In a way, blogging about this is a little counter intuitive for me. I am pretty big on privacy, as well as in body size and talking about this is likely to be pretty personal at times. So, I’ve not decided if I’ll identify myself and if the pictures I will post showing my (hopefully) progress will include my face or not. I’m also relatively safe since few people are likely to read it. And now, the obligatory background…
I’m 42 years old and have been fat the vast majority of my life. It started about 4th grade which I can tell from my school pictures. I was ‘chunky’ from that point until my junior year in high school where I started a brief respite from being fat. My first unpleasant memories of being fat are a little hard to identify in terms of time, though it was probably almost immediately. But the place, I remember well. I grew up in a small town in central Illinois. My mom used to take my brother and I shopping at a clothing store called Applebaum’s in Decatur, IL. This was the late 70’s and Applebaum’s was one of the old school clothing/department stores in downtown Decatur that wouldn’t survive the advent of malls and the departure of many of the factory jobs in Decatur. The store was 2-3 floors of (as I remember) clothes and shoes. I remember the first time that we had to go into the basement to shop in the ‘husky’ department, as they called it then; and how I felt embarrassed and that I didn’t like any of the clothes. Mind you, there wasn’t much to like about clothes in the 70’s, even (and maybe especially) for the most fashionable of dressers. But it was about being labeled ‘husky’, not the clothes itself, but that was the first time I can remember feeling shame. To this day, I hate shopping for clothes; it literally drains me of energy in about 10 minutes and I wonder if there is a connection between this experience in Applebaum’s husky department and my current dislike for the clothes buying process.
So, from the time I was about 9 years old on, I got to endure the comments and tauntings of my fellow youth that almost everyone does at one time or another. Surprisingly, I don’t remember that much specifically about it except one of my brother’s favorite clever turns of phrase, ‘fat pat the water rat’. I heard that one a lot. I should also say that I wasn’t morbidly obese or anything, just overweight; something a mom would probably call baby fat as long as she could, until it was pretty plain that it wasn’t going away once I was taken off of whole milk. Not that my mom ever said anything about me being overweight. My dad and brother, yes, but not my mom. My brother would taunt and my dad would just say matter-of-factly, ‘son, you need to lose weight’; but mom would never have said anything that would bruise a little ego. Even within the last year when they were visiting their grandchild and I walked out of the bathroom without a shirt, dad said something sensitive like the above advice and my mom chastised him for the comment.
The first time I tried to lose weight was in my junior year when a knee injury playing football put me in the hospital. I was about 5’ 10” tall and weighed about 190 pounds. I was round faced and very soft in the middle. As I lay in that hospital bed, I came to a decision. I was going to be very inactive for a while and that meant that I probably was going to get even fatter. The idea was more than I could take and I decided right then that I would go on a diet so as to not gain any more weight. The diet plan was very simple. I would skip breakfast and lunch and only eat dinner. And if the goal was to lose weight, it worked. Over the course of the next few months, the pounds dropped off. Especially after I got off the crutches, I suppose and what’s more, I grew about 2 inches during this time. And then another not so strange thing happened; I started feeling really good about myself, discovered a new bunch of friends and started having fun again. I even got the nerve, sort of, to ask a couple girls out and they “went with” me. It was an amazing turn around and it was, I knew, all because I’d lost weight. And then I got maybe a little over attached to the idea of losing weight. When I got down to 145 pounds (and now 6 feet tall) and was still thinking 5 fewer pounds would be just about right, friends started to express concern that I was getting to thin. That was a pretty cool feeling. I eventually stabilized around 155 pounds. And so it went until college. I added on the freshman 15 plus 5 and from there it has been a slow but steady incline until now. Most recently, my family and I moved back to the Midwest from the west coast and since that time four years ago, I’ve added another 20 pounds; the fastest gain in a long time. The highest weight I know of that I have reached is 263 pounds.
Which brings us to today. No late growth spurts, so I’m still about 6 feet tall, but now 242 pounds. It’s hard to believe I’ve gained nearly 100 pounds since my low weight in adulthood. I saw some pictures of myself from early in my freshman year in college recently and I couldn’t believe how skinny I was; I’d forgotten what I looked like. What’s more, I was diagnosed with diabetes about a year ago and I had a high cholesterol reading six months ago. The diabetes is pretty ‘light’. My daily blood sugars are actually good and the A1C (3 month blood sugar average) is just over the line to be considered diabetic. No medication, but doctor has advised I lose weight. The big concern is that it will just continue to get worse as I get older if something doesn’t change now. Worse, over the last year or two I have really started to feel my age and the additional weight. I get winded going up stairs, I can’t run around with my 6 year old daughter and I just don’t feel that good. And lately, I’ve started to worry. Worry that something really bad is going to happen. Like a heart attack or some serious diabetes symptoms. Or worse. So I have been thinking a lot more lately about finally trying to lose weight again. I’ve only really done it once, but I’ve been thinking that it is now or never. I’d planned to start as a new year’s resolution, but it didn’t happen. Finally a couple days ago, I talked to my wife about how worried I’ve been, and that seemed to be enough to start. The next day (a Saturday), I got up with the alarm clock and did time on the treadmill and some light strength training. Just a few exercises to go along with the cardio. I also am tracking what I eat and along with that, be more conscious of what I’m eating. Cutting out the snacks between and after meals (biggest challenge will be at night after the kids are in bed) and as important, working on portion control. I’m also going to weigh in frequently, though I’m not sure daily is the right amount. So I’m two days in and so far so good. First day was about 1500 calories and today, even with daddy/daughter breakfast at my favorite breakfast joint (two eggs, hash browns, 2 sausage patties and two pieces of toast-1200 calories) and pizza for dinner, only 2100 calories. I never tracked it before I started trying to control it, but I’m guessing that I was doing 2500 calories or more before. So there is the boring back ground. I’m going to have a separate document tracking my weight and any other interesting statistics and post pictures once I figure out the face thing. Though I’m doing this for myself, I hope that by talking about the challenges and rewards of this process, I can help someone else who is in a similar position.
I’m 42 years old and have been fat the vast majority of my life. It started about 4th grade which I can tell from my school pictures. I was ‘chunky’ from that point until my junior year in high school where I started a brief respite from being fat. My first unpleasant memories of being fat are a little hard to identify in terms of time, though it was probably almost immediately. But the place, I remember well. I grew up in a small town in central Illinois. My mom used to take my brother and I shopping at a clothing store called Applebaum’s in Decatur, IL. This was the late 70’s and Applebaum’s was one of the old school clothing/department stores in downtown Decatur that wouldn’t survive the advent of malls and the departure of many of the factory jobs in Decatur. The store was 2-3 floors of (as I remember) clothes and shoes. I remember the first time that we had to go into the basement to shop in the ‘husky’ department, as they called it then; and how I felt embarrassed and that I didn’t like any of the clothes. Mind you, there wasn’t much to like about clothes in the 70’s, even (and maybe especially) for the most fashionable of dressers. But it was about being labeled ‘husky’, not the clothes itself, but that was the first time I can remember feeling shame. To this day, I hate shopping for clothes; it literally drains me of energy in about 10 minutes and I wonder if there is a connection between this experience in Applebaum’s husky department and my current dislike for the clothes buying process.
So, from the time I was about 9 years old on, I got to endure the comments and tauntings of my fellow youth that almost everyone does at one time or another. Surprisingly, I don’t remember that much specifically about it except one of my brother’s favorite clever turns of phrase, ‘fat pat the water rat’. I heard that one a lot. I should also say that I wasn’t morbidly obese or anything, just overweight; something a mom would probably call baby fat as long as she could, until it was pretty plain that it wasn’t going away once I was taken off of whole milk. Not that my mom ever said anything about me being overweight. My dad and brother, yes, but not my mom. My brother would taunt and my dad would just say matter-of-factly, ‘son, you need to lose weight’; but mom would never have said anything that would bruise a little ego. Even within the last year when they were visiting their grandchild and I walked out of the bathroom without a shirt, dad said something sensitive like the above advice and my mom chastised him for the comment.
The first time I tried to lose weight was in my junior year when a knee injury playing football put me in the hospital. I was about 5’ 10” tall and weighed about 190 pounds. I was round faced and very soft in the middle. As I lay in that hospital bed, I came to a decision. I was going to be very inactive for a while and that meant that I probably was going to get even fatter. The idea was more than I could take and I decided right then that I would go on a diet so as to not gain any more weight. The diet plan was very simple. I would skip breakfast and lunch and only eat dinner. And if the goal was to lose weight, it worked. Over the course of the next few months, the pounds dropped off. Especially after I got off the crutches, I suppose and what’s more, I grew about 2 inches during this time. And then another not so strange thing happened; I started feeling really good about myself, discovered a new bunch of friends and started having fun again. I even got the nerve, sort of, to ask a couple girls out and they “went with” me. It was an amazing turn around and it was, I knew, all because I’d lost weight. And then I got maybe a little over attached to the idea of losing weight. When I got down to 145 pounds (and now 6 feet tall) and was still thinking 5 fewer pounds would be just about right, friends started to express concern that I was getting to thin. That was a pretty cool feeling. I eventually stabilized around 155 pounds. And so it went until college. I added on the freshman 15 plus 5 and from there it has been a slow but steady incline until now. Most recently, my family and I moved back to the Midwest from the west coast and since that time four years ago, I’ve added another 20 pounds; the fastest gain in a long time. The highest weight I know of that I have reached is 263 pounds.
Which brings us to today. No late growth spurts, so I’m still about 6 feet tall, but now 242 pounds. It’s hard to believe I’ve gained nearly 100 pounds since my low weight in adulthood. I saw some pictures of myself from early in my freshman year in college recently and I couldn’t believe how skinny I was; I’d forgotten what I looked like. What’s more, I was diagnosed with diabetes about a year ago and I had a high cholesterol reading six months ago. The diabetes is pretty ‘light’. My daily blood sugars are actually good and the A1C (3 month blood sugar average) is just over the line to be considered diabetic. No medication, but doctor has advised I lose weight. The big concern is that it will just continue to get worse as I get older if something doesn’t change now. Worse, over the last year or two I have really started to feel my age and the additional weight. I get winded going up stairs, I can’t run around with my 6 year old daughter and I just don’t feel that good. And lately, I’ve started to worry. Worry that something really bad is going to happen. Like a heart attack or some serious diabetes symptoms. Or worse. So I have been thinking a lot more lately about finally trying to lose weight again. I’ve only really done it once, but I’ve been thinking that it is now or never. I’d planned to start as a new year’s resolution, but it didn’t happen. Finally a couple days ago, I talked to my wife about how worried I’ve been, and that seemed to be enough to start. The next day (a Saturday), I got up with the alarm clock and did time on the treadmill and some light strength training. Just a few exercises to go along with the cardio. I also am tracking what I eat and along with that, be more conscious of what I’m eating. Cutting out the snacks between and after meals (biggest challenge will be at night after the kids are in bed) and as important, working on portion control. I’m also going to weigh in frequently, though I’m not sure daily is the right amount. So I’m two days in and so far so good. First day was about 1500 calories and today, even with daddy/daughter breakfast at my favorite breakfast joint (two eggs, hash browns, 2 sausage patties and two pieces of toast-1200 calories) and pizza for dinner, only 2100 calories. I never tracked it before I started trying to control it, but I’m guessing that I was doing 2500 calories or more before. So there is the boring back ground. I’m going to have a separate document tracking my weight and any other interesting statistics and post pictures once I figure out the face thing. Though I’m doing this for myself, I hope that by talking about the challenges and rewards of this process, I can help someone else who is in a similar position.
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